Yesterday and today have been really hard for me. I've been exhausted because of karate camp, teaching and work. I've not had that much free time which is why I didn't write yesterday. I miss Brandon a lot. The heartache has returned. The loss of appetite has returned. I thought seeing him on vacation made those go away. I thought I was getting used to not being with Brandon. But I guess I can't get used to it.
I'm a little scared. I forced myself to eat lunch because I can't afford to lose anymore weight. Earlier this year I weighed 122 lbs. I now weigh 108 lbs. I lost weight when I was sick but I've lost a few pounds since I came home this summer.
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